Sexual Harassment is good!

So says this article. I'm subscribed to 101 things and one of them is Change.org. I receive these updates from them regularly about the condition of our world and the difficulties that people around me face daily. I read it and exclaim and rave and rant to AB, come up with a blog post very rarely, do anything about it even more rarely. Actually do nothing. I know. I know its sickening. I've realized slowly over the years that I've moved away from the passionate activist on the road to a pseudo on-the-couch (literally!) activist. It irks me, yes. And that is all it does to me. Since this post is not about how apathetic I've become, I shall move on to the article mentioned earlier.

When I read that particular article, I was wild. I've always been a feminist and always fought, sometimes illogically, radically. But men haven't topped my list of favourites ever. This article reminded me of a particular colleague S. No one liked him. He was like this animal on a prey. I know it sounds harsh. But I felt that way every time he waited for a new batch of employees to join and sought out girls in that batch and offered to help them settle down in office/city. No one could believe that a highly educated man as S working in a company as big as mine was was a lech. He did not exactly harass sexually. But then, what is your definition of sexual harassment? Is it when men actually harass you physically? Or, do those 'come hither' comments, numerous attempts to make friendship, to take you out count too? I'm writing this post with great venom against the man. I was just fortunate that there were other people in my batch who were prettier, slimmer, ready to go out for late night parties and more importantly, girls who needed help settling down in the city/workplace. Thanks to my clumsiness, or my talkativeness or the fact that half my college was recruited that year, I did not really need to settle down. I also had very considerate cab mates who warned me. But I realized soon that this wasn't about one pretty woman. It was about women. Several people joined after me. In fact, we were hiring aggressively and new graduates were being hired. So, we had a batch for training every week. This person, S was someone who helped us understand the processes at work when we were new. It was a routine act for him. He'd come by to help us. Unfortunately, we'd call him for help, since we needed to get done with the work. He'd come by, stand close to us, talk to us, make us comfortable - there was a routine and a procedure to help a new employee. I've done it too. Only, I haven't ended the Q & A session with an already confused new employee with the question: "What you doing this weekend?" Or, "Saturday night is for letting your hair down. I can take you and you can get to know a lot of people in this office better!" Many unsuspecting girls said yes. Someone was willing to drive them, introduce them to some more nice people, some harmless fun and that is all. After all, he was their colleague, and they needed help, anyway. And they were new. Obviously, the wrong time to be assertive and say no. After one such conversation that my friend and I overheard, we decided to take matters in our hand. We inquired around and found that this was normal practice and everyone knew about it. Managers included. Perfect, we thought then. Only later did we realize that no one wanted to do anything about it, or that everyone thought it was extremely funny. You see, he was one of those popular people in the office. More importantly, he allowed people to laugh at hime. He'd say funny things, do funny things and belonged to a popular gang in office. So, ya, it wasn't important. Anyway, nowadays, the girls were smart and S was harmless, really - This was the response we received everytime we spoke up.

From then on, my friend and I took it upon us to talk to new employees casually - just like S. Generally talk about office, offer help with anything they might need, and in a sentence talk about how there were several nice people in the office to help. Somewhere in the middle, we did warn them about S. It was quite easy, coz S was always a step ahead of us. So, when we mentioned his name, the girls'd anyway double check ( in spite of saying yes to the outing btw) and then refuse to go out later. Which was fine. Finally, he seemed to have stopped. We only realized later that he was really senior in the company now, and he just did not have the time to interact with all the newer employees. Also our hiring rate grew so much that we did not know half the employees. Even later, during one of the times we had to give feedback on our fellow employees, he came by my desk and peered into my computer - something no one should be doing anyway, and more importantly, not during the time when someone is writing feedback about his/her peers since it is confidential. He even joked about the process and spoke of writing my feedback (a lie, I knew). I just lost it then, and spoke to his manager. The next day, the whole office received a warning about this in an email. Confidentiality was stressed on, and warnings in general were given. He shut up after that, and ignored me totally. Which was good, yes.

I dunno why I spoke so much about him. I'm no longer in touch with S. However, I read this article and my blood boiled, and I thought of how men all over the world just get away with what they do. To continue the human race? Is that why sexual harassment at workplace could actually be legal? So what about rape then? Is that legal too? I mean, after all, that could help in continuing the human race too, right? Only, these are considered 'crimes' against women. But then women need to understand that they should stop thinking selfishly and contribute to the human race.

I read somewhere that there was an ad agency in Mumbai whose manager actually marked his women employees' menstruation dates on his calendar, so he could not give them important work during their PMS days. I will not be surprised if everyday is PMS day for us with such men around. I do not want to start a whole feminist rant here. But really, are we progressing at all? We are not willing to give a woman her rights to her own body aka Niketa Mehta's case, we say sexual harassment is necessary, and there are men who feel we won't perform well thanks to a natural cycle which is why they are here. And we are talking of Sarah Palin and women leaders? I do not care if Sonia Gandhi is a strong woman or if Sarah Palin wins. Coz it does not really seem to make a difference, does it?

I know the above written piece is written horribly, with no beginning or end or anything in it. I'm facing a blogger's block and not written in long. However, this just got me wild and I did not want to take it out on the only man around me, my husband who is one of those men who gives a good name to men. So, this post. Bear with me, like you bear with all those men.