Wake me up when October ends!

That should have actually been my line in September because I achieved nothing. Nothing at all. I ran a bit, but hardly read the books I wanted and didn't do much with the food blog. Total #fail month, September was.

October looks crazy already. I know it hasn't even begun, but so far I have plans for every weekend. Ya. None of it involves relaxation or things for myself, necessarily. I'm going to be running around and catching my breath this month with social obligations.

So, my challenges this month?

1. Get the car license figured out. 
I left home at 19 and never got around to getting a license. I need to get back to driving on Indian roads and figure out license without a bribe, that is.

2. Smile through all the social obligations and visit every aunt, every cousin, every grandmother and every friend's house with aplomb and joy.
It's unbelievable how busy the festival season is, for a married me in my home town. But I came back to India to be close to family, to have fun during all these festivals and get back in touch with long-lost cousins and watch my nieces and nephews grow. And I want to do just that this October!


3. Practice wearing the sari religiously everyday.
I'm ashamed to say I don't know how to wear a sari. I'm going to have to wear a sari in 4 months time without anyone's help since I won't be the bride or the newly-wed or the recently wed anymore.

4. Read everyday for at least 30 mins.


5. Start cycling.


6. Food blog, food blog and food blog. 
This challenge comes from last month. This time, I think I've planned it well in my head. Dishes and photos included.

So, wake me up when October ends and hopefully it will be a dream of a challenge.

P.S.- No, not finished Infinite Jest beyond 20% of the book. Pushed to November. Aim to finish it in 2011.

I'm feeling lucky?

I just saw a TV show that I don't normally watch. I don't watch TV. For some reason, I watched this show on Sony TV 'Crime Patrol.' According to the premise of the show, the show recreates real life cases/incidents. Thanks to insomnia and because I was already sprawled in the middle of the couch, I decided to watch what it was all about. I thought I could live-tweet a hilarious 'san-sani' serial.

Today's case was that of abuse within marriage. So commonplace right? Darshan just went back to jail and all is well with my #outrage ridden Twitter world.  This man marries this girl - arranged through matrimonial columns/sites. She meets him several times and then agrees to marry him. Her parents are educated, liberal and rich. They get married. Soon, he asks for a BMW in a very playful tone. She shrugs it off even with warning bells ringing in her head. Soon, his brother tries to molest her. She asks for help and she only receives a 'what's wrong with it?' answer. 6 years into marriage, she is a sex slave for his brothers, his business partners and he, himself abuses her with inhuman sexual activity every night. They are so confident that she won't talk about it that (I found it surprising) she is not locked up or forbidden to talk to anyone. So she talks to people - her family, her sister, her mother. The answer and the belief is that this happens. This happens in every marriage. These are marital conflicts. 'Bedroom ki baatein' as her sister puts it.

How many of us get abused within our homes, our bedrooms? How many of us are willing to talk about it? I remember this friend of mine who I'd forgotten until this show. She got married at 22, all starry eyed. The age isn't the matter here. She got married to someone she knew and fell head over heels in love with him. 2 years later, she wrote to me saying he was going mad or that she was afraid he was going mad and that he abuses her. She was in the US. I asked her to talk to her sisters. She said she did, and they said it will be okay. She wrote to me again. I asked her to come back home on the pretext of a vacation and never go back and take concrete steps. I invited her to stay with me until she sorted things out. She didn't respond. I forgot all about her until I moved to the US and tried living all alone, going mad in an empty house. I contacted her again. This time around, she was happy. Pregnant, perfectly in peace with her world. I didn't know what to make of it. I left it...

Now, as I sit in one corner of my couch, shaking, unable to move in sheer disgust and maybe, even fear, that girl's face flashed in my head. How many of us make such compromises? I thought back to my life. I'm married and it was a very traditional arranged marriage. How did I trust AB like that? How many of us do this and are not leading lives similar to mine?

I thought to myself how lucky I was to have AB as my husband. I go into the bedroom and he smiles and hugs me. He waits to talk to me every night. The conversation you have with your partner lying next to each other. I tweet, he talks. I read about all the problems in the world, he talks to me about his  problems at work. I listen sometimes, I nod once in a while, all the time believing I got lucky with him.

He is not a special guy. He is a normal guy. A normal human being, doing what is expected of him. Why is it then that I'm considered so lucky? Even by my own admission, a lot of the times. Because he is doing the right thing? From when is doing the right thing to be applauded? He is not going above humanity to do something special, right?

Why are we always made to feel grateful for the 'good' things that happen to us? Even if it is our right?

Tonight, I'm on the couch. AB has to wait until I forget this episode like many others to talk about his annual review. I think he can and he should.