That is what I'm trying to tell myself.
As a woman nearing 30, the pressure on me is really high. Trust me, I laughed it off too when I read all those articles, watched all those TED Talks. With a job I love, and a family I want to prioritise, it's becoming increasingly tough. People are praying so I have a baby. I have no clue if I want one, yet.
Last week at work taught me some things about myself. I can work hard and push myself to the core. (Whose daughter am I, after all!) I can continue to be patient and smile and keep doing what I'm doing (reminds me that I'm becoming my mum) and blow up elsewhere. Only. I don't want to do the last part. At all.
I've had my share of crazy work. College Theater club activities, Mess secretary related responsibilities, weddings at home - have all been beyond crazy. But proving myself to be that perfect woman at home and work? That didn't exist. As much as I try to run away from that stereotype, it comes back to bite me.
So, it's a pledge taken publicly now. I will prioritise my happiness over everything else from today. I won't think of how much money I have to save, how I have to give birth to babies that will save this world, how I'm not doing any favours to myself by working 24/7, or how I don't have to save this world.
I need a saviour. From my expectations, from my prejudices. From my all-burning passion, sometimes.
I'm pretty happy now. With work and the life decisions I've made. But like my mum says, there's always room for more.
I want to be happier. And that means a whole lot to me than anything else I've accomplished or going to accomplish.
They say it takes 30 days to make something a habit. I'm being generous to myself and give myself 3 months.
Roughly :)
.
As a woman nearing 30, the pressure on me is really high. Trust me, I laughed it off too when I read all those articles, watched all those TED Talks. With a job I love, and a family I want to prioritise, it's becoming increasingly tough. People are praying so I have a baby. I have no clue if I want one, yet.
Last week at work taught me some things about myself. I can work hard and push myself to the core. (Whose daughter am I, after all!) I can continue to be patient and smile and keep doing what I'm doing (reminds me that I'm becoming my mum) and blow up elsewhere. Only. I don't want to do the last part. At all.
I've had my share of crazy work. College Theater club activities, Mess secretary related responsibilities, weddings at home - have all been beyond crazy. But proving myself to be that perfect woman at home and work? That didn't exist. As much as I try to run away from that stereotype, it comes back to bite me.
So, it's a pledge taken publicly now. I will prioritise my happiness over everything else from today. I won't think of how much money I have to save, how I have to give birth to babies that will save this world, how I'm not doing any favours to myself by working 24/7, or how I don't have to save this world.
I need a saviour. From my expectations, from my prejudices. From my all-burning passion, sometimes.
I'm pretty happy now. With work and the life decisions I've made. But like my mum says, there's always room for more.
I want to be happier. And that means a whole lot to me than anything else I've accomplished or going to accomplish.
They say it takes 30 days to make something a habit. I'm being generous to myself and give myself 3 months.
Roughly :)
.
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