Am boiling. I slept and woke up and am going to sleep again. Hardly. And the Mumbai gun fire continues. What the hell is happening to my country? Why are we like this? I'm at a loss. I dunno what I should do to stop this. Bring my children up to tell them that religion does not matter. Well, atleast that is what I thought my generation believed. But when I look at those gunmen who seem to be as old as me, I wonder what they know and believe in. Did they think twice about killing themselves so violently, forget taking over one whole city and leaving all of us looking on? Sitting here in Atlanta, I feel dumb, and dumbfounded about what my role could be, could have been in this whole terrorist saga? Am I responsible in any way?

Of course, I am. I did not f****** vote last time. Or did I? And it did not make a single difference. I cannot even think straight in my anger. What have I done to make a difference in anyone's life? Cried and raved and ranted for about an hour after every attack like this? Sometimes, not even that.

I blame everyone else for this 'incident.' The accused Jihadis, the MNS, Bal Thackeray and his clan for whom the attacks on Mumbai are not an attack on our culture or our social fabric. We only need to paint nude goddesses. It does not matter if we shoot people randomly and target particular 'other' religions. If I were the PM, my action plan'd be for the next 15 days -

- Ban MNS and jail Bal Thackeray and anyone who supports him. Screw freedom of speech. Not needed during an emergency situation.

- Shut the useless Parliament and CNN IBN for these 15 days. Take action on my own. I do not need money-suckers to tell me if I should send 20 year old men to fight bloody terrorists

- Change the judicial process to make sure that after the bloody terrorist talks, shoot him dead, instead of keeping him hoping that someone will be taken hostage and he can be left free if and when some Westerner is taken hostage. Or even better, leave them in the Parliament and all the politicians. Don't send in the NSG, or the army or the police. Really. Just leave them. Let's see who kills whom and who survives this- The blood and money suckers or the religious extremists.

- Change the whole idea of Presidential pardon. Going forward, 10 terrorists in Tihar jail will be shot mercilessly. That is what celebrating a national holiday means, dammit!

- Vote. Make people vote. All of us should not just talk anymore. We should vote. Take that first step. Tell them that we are here, watching their every single step.

- Stop worrying about how cumbersome the security process is. I'd rather walk nude through the security check-in than being dead in a couple of hours.

- The moment an American President promises something against the so-called terrorists, think and start monitoring the bloody security situation in the country. Because like Bush showed us, even the dumbest of US politicians do what they say.

- When Pakistan extends a friendly hand with or without an administration, take it in one hand but be careful about their other hand, dammit!

I just cannot think anymore. Frankly. I do not care if anyone in the comments section tries to tell me that I'm a biased Indian. I'm tired of being a tolerant Indian. Its Thanksgiving, so thank me for being tolerant for this long.